TL;DR: Stoner ramble about the shit in life. Carry on. Don’t feel bad if you don’t want to read it. ^_^ *waves*

Its okay. I’m really not looking for pity or empathy. Its just shitty situation and my boyfriend isn’t home to talk about it, and I think my other boyfriend already went to sleep. So I cried about it to my mom for a minute, sat down with a cup of coffee and smoked a bowl. No one is really available to me right now and I just need to spew to someone, so I talk to the internet about it. Its not a cry for help, its me venting and blowing off steam.

Kind words are appriciated though :) Just, don’t feel sorry for me. Please. Haha. That only makes me feel worse. It is what it is. This too shall pass.

And honestly? This is probably not the worst possible scenario. My boyfriend just finished his second week at a job with stable hours and decent pay (before it was dealing with temp job to temp job until i told him to stop. I ended up fronting him more gas money than the hours they would give him and all the days he showed up after a 20 mile commute they would tell him they didn’t need him that day and to go home) and will be getting his first paycheck soon. I have barely enough money together to pay rent and insurance dues that are coming out tomorrow. Then my loan should be coming through next week and we can afford food and bills.

Like… Its okay. It will be okay. This is not the worst this all has been. It was kinda like “Oh, sweet. I don’t have to stress out any more about going into work and can just worry about doc appointments and getting enough rest and *CAR PULLS A DICK MOVE* ARHDIFLSHADSLVBDF. HOW MUCH SHIT IS GOING TO KEEP COMING AT ME. FUCK.” So i cried to my mom. Lol.

“Welcome to being an adult.” she said.

I laughed while i was crying. “I know mom. I figured that out when this shit started and the only way I made it through was sweet bronies throwing money at me to wait in line for sexy pony art for so long it breaks my heart.”

My uncle who lives like ¼ mile down the road is going to come over when my aunt gets home to watch the kids. He’s a car guy, this doesn’t look like a hard problem to solve. I am just pissed that I was dead on. When this shit started, I knew that it was going to be a short matter of time. It was one of *those* noises. Fuck, if they have the money he is probably going to try to help pay to get it fixed or help fix it and I am going to cry and tell him no and then he is going to laugh and ask me what else am I gonna do. And I’ll laugh and he’ll give me a hug.

See? That isn’t anything to feel sorry for me about. I am in a good enough state to be laughing at half of my situation. Some of the venting has to come in words, and some of it has to pour annoyingly out of my eye sockets.

I’m sorry for the wall of text, but I don’t want to keep spending the day answering a ton of the same questions XD It’s good to know you guys care. Just, don’t let your heart bleed for me. Its not that bad. Just frustrating circumstances.

(Its like playing a really boring video game on difficult. I’ve gotten back to the levels with the sex mini games again, so I’m cool. Haha.)

I’m thinking I might just make a skuttz-mod blog so I can bitch about stuff there. I don’t feel right doing it on any of my blogs. “no one signed up for that” but if you followed a skuttz mod blog, then you are signing up for it and I can blather there all I please and the only people who have to hear it will be over there.